Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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