About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize