Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize