i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
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God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
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I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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