god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize