You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
