I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
