He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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