Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize