it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
