Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
