We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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