I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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