Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
