Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
i need some magic done to my vagina
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
