R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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