Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Found your dick twin last night
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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