Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.