Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
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The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
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Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month