Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.

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  (650): just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low. http://tfl.nu/fwog
  Replies (60) Good night (1353) Bad night (2548)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.

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  (401): Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends. http://tfl.nu/34is
  Replies (28) Good night (540) Bad night (3914)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair

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  (316): Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair http://tfl.nu/yhl2
  Replies (20) Good night (690) Bad night (4000)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.

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  (617): i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it. http://tfl.nu/hw4z
  Replies (105) Good night (7591) Bad night (1970)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.

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  (519): When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon. http://tfl.nu/7cpz
  Replies (56) Good night (8510) Bad night (990)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.

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  (603): Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college. http://tfl.nu/nve2
  Replies (13) Good night (5900) Bad night (1025)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left

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  (330): I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left http://tfl.nu/2seq
  Replies (16) Good night (863) Bad night (2437)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I hear you

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  (613): I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting. (250): I hear you http://tfl.nu/kr1l
  Replies (7) Good night (2259) Bad night (574)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car

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  (773): It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car http://tfl.nu/9u20
  Replies (4) Good night (403) Bad night (830)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.

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  (814): If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it. http://tfl.nu/i665
  Replies (1) Good night (428) Bad night (248)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.

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  (720): Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate. http://tfl.nu/0wwt
  Replies (1) Good night (943) Bad night (223)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?

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  (347): Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it? http://tfl.nu/mhp5
  Replies (1) Good night (466) Bad night (256)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.

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  (512): The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know. http://tfl.nu/ghx8
  Replies (1) Good night (633) Bad night (285)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....

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  (248): I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him.... http://tfl.nu/0ivu
  Replies (0) Good night (387) Bad night (356)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche

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  (917): My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche http://tfl.nu/stu6
  Replies (3) Good night (433) Bad night (199)

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