Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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