I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize