what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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