physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
