i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
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so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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