The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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