Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
