actually, I'm a sock model
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize