fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
