dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
