I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
