Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
