Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
