After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
