please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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