I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
