Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize