i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
