is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
