I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
it hurts more in the daytime
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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