But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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