Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
