spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
