found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
