Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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