I think I just saw someone hide a body.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
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I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
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I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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