I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
