I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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