there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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