why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
