Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
