I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
