bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
