i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize