its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
