is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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