when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
