he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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