I swear she didn't look like that last week.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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