Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My breasts were aching with rage.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
