Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
