Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
