Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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