I just threw up on my dentist
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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