hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
